Question

I am worried that her parents will not accept me

Jag är rädd att hennes föräldrar inte ska acceptera mig - engelska

Question

I am dating a girl from Sweden, but I am worried about meeting her parents. What if they think that I am a bad person just because I come from a different country? That is what happened to a friend of mine. His girlfriend's parents were afraid of him just because he is not from Sweden. I think it is unfair and it makes me sad. What should I do?

Answer

It is normal to feel nervous about meeting your partner's parents. Some also worry that the parents will not accept them or think they are a bad person.

How you are feeling is obviously affected by your friend's experience, where his girlfriend's parents were afraid. Racism and discrimination are usually based on prejudices, fears and ignorance. A prejudice is when you think someone is a certain way before you get to know them. For example, there may be prejudices that a person from a particular country or a particular culture will behave a certain way.

It may seem unfair that others are afraid or that they feel a certain way about someone just because they come from a different country or a different culture. It can make you feel sad and angry. Everyone has the right to be treated decently and with respect, no matter where they come from.

A good way to form a relationship with your girlfriend's parents is to try to really get to know them. Tell them more about yourself and your background. Let the parents ask you questions, if you feel OK with this. It is also a good idea to show them that you want to learn more about your girlfriend's family. If they seem afraid or worried, you can ask them why, so that it is out in the open and you can talk about it.

By being open, honest and curious, you also show them that you want to get to know them and want them to get to know you. Fears and prejudices tend to decrease once you get to know each other better.

I know that it feels tough to be with someone if their family does not accept you. It may even feel impossible at times. It is important to know that you and your girlfriend have the right to be together, no matter what her parents think of you.

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