In some families or extended families, it’s important that no-one brings dishonour to the family. There may be rules within the family or extended family, for example that a girl is not allowed to have sex before she is married. This means that she can’t have a boyfriend, or spend her free time with boys. This is known as honour-related violence or oppression and it’s illegal. It is also a breach of your human rights and the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
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These rules tend to be strictest for girls, but there are also rules that apply to boys.
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The family’s rules might mean that you aren’t allowed to meet up with friends after school, use social media, or wear the clothes that you want.
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The rules might mean that you can’t study or work with what you want, or marry the person that you want to marry.
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Various people might check up on you to make sure that you aren’t doing anything wrong. You could be punished if you break the family’s or extended family’s rules. This might include being beaten, threatened, called bad things or excluded from the family.
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This is known as honour-related violence or oppression and it’s illegal. It is also a breach of your human rights and the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
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Do you have to check up on your siblings? Some people are required to keep check on their sisters or other relatives, because the family or extended family is concerned that they might be getting a bad name for themselves.
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But everyone has the right to live their own lives in whatever way they wish. This is the case regardless of what country you come from, your religion or culture.
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You or others in your family or extended family may think you know what is best for someone, but that person might not agree with you. You have to respect that.
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You have the right to live your own life and shouldn’t have to check up on others.
Your parents or legal guardians have responsibility for you until you reach the age of 18. But they aren’t allowed to decide everything. You have the right to be present and make decisions that affect your life. Get help from someone else if you feel that your family wants to decide on or control your life.
Human rights protect your right to live a good life. You have the right to education and health care. You have the right to be treated fairly and the right to flee to another country if you are in danger.
Farman used to monitor everything his sisters did. But then he met a girl who had been the victim of honour-based oppression. Because of that, Farman began to think in a new way.
