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Question

My family doesn't accept homosexuality or feminine clothing. Help!

Min familj accepterar inte homosexualitet eller feminina kläder, hjälp! - engelska

Question

I can't be myself in my family. They don't accept that I dress in pink or tight clothes. They don't think it's right for me because I'm a boy. When I've worn clothing that I like, I've been yelled at and threatened.

I'm not sure about my sexuality, but I'd never be able to come out as bisexual or gay. I'm afraid something terrible would happen if my family found out.

My parents are strict about religion and our traditions. It's impossible to change the way they think. I love my family and feel really guilty because I don't want to hurt them. But I'm afraid I can't be what they want me to be.

Help! What should I do?

Answer

I think you should start by telling an adult you trust about your situation. This could be a teacher, school counsellor, or someone at a youth guidance centre.

Talk to a friend first if that feels easier. That might give you the confidence you need to talk to an adult.

You can also contact RFSL stödmottagning. They have experience in supporting people who are at risk because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. You can be anonymous when you call or email them.

You write that you feel guilty and do not want to hurt your family. It is not good to be alone with those feelings. You may start to think that something is wrong with you. But there is nothing wrong with you or the way you dress.

You also write that you are afraid something bad will happen if your family finds out that you are bisexual or gay. I only know a little about your situation and not exactly what you are afraid of. It is important that you know where you can get help if you need it:

  • Contact Social Services if you are afraid something will happen to you or if you need protection from threats or violence.
  • Call 112 if you are in danger and urgently need help.

Many young people in a similar situation are afraid of being treated badly, threatened or subjected to violence, or have their family turn their backs on them. Some are also afraid of being killed by someone in their immediate family or a relative.

Some young people are afraid of being married off. Some young people are also afraid of being forced to see a doctor, psychologist or religious leader who will try to make them heterosexual.

All people have the right to their sexual orientation, gender identity and to dress the way they want. No one should have to deal with threats or violence. You have the right to feel good about yourself, and help is available. 

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