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Question

I'm afraid I won't bleed when I have sex for the first time. Is there some kind of operation I can get?

Jag är rädd att jag inte kommer att blöda när jag har samlag första gången. Kan jag göra en operation? - engelska

Question

My family says I have to be a virgin when I get married. They say there has to be blood on the bed after I've had sex for the first time. I'm scared there won't be any blood. I've heard that you can get a hymen (“maidenhead”) sewn into place. Does this work?

Answer

Most girls don’t bleed the first time they have sex. If they do bleed, it's because they were not sexually excited enough to make their vagina as wet as it needed to be.

There’s no membrane covering the entrance of the vagina like a piece of plastic wrap. If a covering like this did exist, the blood would not be able to leave your vagina when you have your period. The idea that there is a “maidenhead” is a myth. Because there is nothing that naturally blocks the entrance, it is not possible to sew anything back into place. That’s why the operations that some people have gone through haven’t worked.

You might also like to know that no one can look at you and tell whether you’ve had sex – not even a doctor or midwife (a nurse specially trained in the female reproductive system) can examine you and say whether you’ve had sex. This is because your vagina continues to look and act just like it did before you had sex.

If possible, try to talk to your family about this. It might help to show them the texts and images of the vagina and its different parts that are available here at Youmo.se. Contact a youth guidance centre (ungdomsmottagning), Social Services or the police if you feel scared or threatened in any way.

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Questions and answers

Here you can read the queries sent in by young people to Ask UMO. All questions on Youmo are answered by experts who usually answer questions on UMO.se. You yourself can ask a question to Ask UMO, and get a personal response that only you can see. But you can only ask and receive answers in Swedish.

ArticleSlide show: Nothing covers the entrance of the vagina

There is no way to tell that you’ve had sex or used a tampon just by looking at or touching your vagina. Most girls don’t bleed the first time they have sex because there is nothing covering the entrance of the vagina.

ArticleFilm: You decide over your body

Every person has the right to make decisions regarding their own body. This is a human right. But what does it mean?

ArticleThe vulva and vagina

Here you can read about the different parts of the vulva and vagina, and learn more about how your vulva and vagina work. The vulva and vagina are great parts of your body that can urinate, have periods, have sex, give birth to children and give enjoyment.

ArticleHonour

In some families or extended families, it’s important that no-one brings dishonour to the family. There may be rules within the family or extended family, for example that a girl is not allowed to have sex before she is married. This means that she can’t have a boyfriend, or spend her free time with boys. This is known as honour-related violence or oppression and it’s illegal. It is also a breach of your human rights and the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.

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